#12 – Christmas Dream

Dream from December 25, 2013

The night begins with my dad driving me around in his blue mini-van to either pick up some transcripts for college or get resumes for a job (I’m not sure which but my inner thoughts seem to centered around both). We stop at Jonesville High School, a small brown building in front of a small parking lot. It feels like early winter with a bit of light snow on the ground.
I’m in the passenger seat, waiting for dad to come out of the school, and then suddenly I’m in the back seat on the left side near the window. My sister Liz is driving the van, only she is on the right side as if in England and isn’t actually using the steering wheel since it’s still on the left side. She proceeds to “drive” through a dense forest in the pitch black of night.

I frantically ask Liz, “Why did you leave dad behind?”. She doesn’t answer but continues on her wild rampage, cutting through trees and causing an uproar with the wildlife. I tell her that we should turn back and have a apprehensive feeling about venturing into this forest in the dead of night. What if we break down or get stuck? What if we get eaten by a pack of hungry wolves? Wolves are indeed involved. As we are barreling through the terrain, a couple of Siberian huskies graze the side of the van, which from the outside looks more like the Winnebago from Breaking Bad. The view alternates between the outside view of the side of the vehicle near the rear wheel base and my point of view from inside. A couple more wolves hit the vehicle and I am getting worried that they will eventually break the windows and get inside. Their faces are illuminated by the van’s headlights and if you were expecting them to look fierce and deadly that would not be the case. These huskies actually looked harmless with no intent of making us their next meal. Maybe that’s because they didn’t realize what was happening or maybe this is just a thing about the dream where two things from two different memories, the van and the wolves, clash with each other and are not connected at all.

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1. I see myself riding along with my dad because he has now become a more prominent part of my life and has been trying to instill some confidence in me while advising me on ways to find a job. Some long frozen over ice has been broken here in the last few months; I feel like I can relate to him on a more personal level than before because I get to see my dad more often now.

2. I don’t know why we stop at Jonesville High School, or whatever school it actually is, but I’m thinking that because I knew two girls that went there and they were a major focal point of my memory (still quite are, I hope I’m not a stalker), that school name has become so synonymous with them that it would become an often randomly accessed memory.

3. Liz pops up in this brief adventure because I think there is a small part of my mind that longs for her to be here with the fact that she is living close to 600 miles away and I have only seen her once in the last few months. Everyone else in my family misses her as well.

4. I see Liz apparently as a crazy driver with no bearings because that is how I have always known her while we were growing up. Liz was always different and did lots of weird and wacky things, such as stealing a “WET PAINT” sign and hanging it up in her room, that made us laugh, made us scratch our heads, and sometimes made us worry about her.

5. There is no dialogue from Liz in this dream and that might relate to the fact that we never had much conversing between each other. She seems to be in a distant world when I try to ask her questions like I or she is not actually there. I see her with her familiar stretchy pink shirt on and she has that yummy ice cream hairstyle of a mix of orange, pink, and white just stopping above her shoulders.

6. Perhaps there is someone driving the van but the dream is not focused on that particular detail. A ghost driver or dark escort. It might not actually be a forest we were crashing through but just the familiar long strip of Erie Road in Parma I have traveled on so many times.

7. The wolves, or just friendly dogs, relate to the fact that there is a Siberian husky always sitting on the red porch of a person’s house where I live. Most of the time when I walk by I see that dog and it captures my attention, it seeing me and just staring back with the innocent eyes of it’s friendly face. That’s why I see multiple images of the same dog in my vision. It’s merely a memory.

8. The side view of the van turned Winnebago is a familiar scene from the pilot of Breaking Bad when Walter is driving the RV like a madman through the desert, fearing that the police are after him as he has just started cooking meth with burnout Jessie Pinkman.

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#11 – December Ride

The following series of dreams happened during the last part of 2013, around November and December…

In a store like school that looks like my local Meijer or Walmart, I’m frantically running through a deli section. I try to skip lunch and see a few teachers that do not notice me…

In a huge dining hall with big, tall windows, I see a table with Kim Kardashian and someone she is dating – Kanye West perhaps – seated there. My unpredictable dream self sits down at that table but quickly moves somewhere else because he feels uneasy about sitting with celebrities. So dreamscaper Matt sits down at another table with some stupid, irrelevant person who is probably someone he knows but can’t figure out. Red carpet covers the whole of this room, lots of natural sunlight shining through the magnificent, black framed windows as tall as a cathedral. In only a couple of seconds this is gone.

Next, I find myself at Western High School, walking down the senior hallway and around the corner leading to the cafeteria. The corners of my vision see the lockers by the cafeteria, before it was remodeled into the state-of-the-art state it is now (everything always gets better after I leave). As I am walking around the corner, I have thoughts of West Middle School in Ypsilanti on my mind, reliving the bad days, memories of when I was a 12/13 year old, kids laughing, poking fun at my looks and apparent disabilities. I’m all alone, walking a lonely path, which is a comfort to me since I can bask in my thoughts. The dream fizzles out.

A few days later comes a story about a boy named Matt or Dave. He is sitting in an assembly chair on stage in the front row of the auditorium at Western High. But then the dream quickly shifts to my old room at Erie Road in Parma (another reference to an early childhood home that seems to be very special to me). A piece of a rubber tire from a white van sitting in the adjacent driveway gets stuck in the bedroom window frame, somehow still connected to the vehicle in an impossible way. Mischievous Matt pulls on the rubber tread, stretching it, and causes the wheel to fall off the van outside on the driveway. “It’s junk anyways”, Matt says, seeing the van now lying crooked on three wheels. The owners come by and look at their wrecked vehicle. Matt’s friends come into his room and look through the window. Matt closes the blinds just a peek. “Shhh”, he says with a finger to his lips, wanting to be as quiet and unassuming as possible about this.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I am walking down the high school hallway again, being the popular kid, with everyone gasping and eyeing me like I’m a famous celebrity, especially girls. This is the polar opposite of how I was feeling a while back – depressed and lonely. Kind of like the end of Titanic, where everyone is clapping uproariously at Jack and Rose as they kiss at the top of the staircase and the camera pans up to the iconic glass ceiling before fading out – moments before they had been involved in an epic tragedy and now are experiencing an uplifting, but cliché, ending. Through thick and thin we’ve fought and now the light at the end of the tunnel has finally been reached. That’s how my dream translates to real life.

My December ride crashes in on an evil empire springing up on a desert like planet, much like Tatooine in Star Wars. A little guy flies by to his own planet and sees the big bad empire nearby. “Some evil empire I have”, he says, as the bigger one dwarfs his. The little guy is one of the minions from Despicable Me.

Another shift to the real world has me in an aisle at the store looking for Spongebob Squarepants stuffed toys. There are many varieties and assortments, such as ones with big vampire teeth. I buy one that is a little bigger than the one I already have – 38 x 23 inches, which is pretty big but that’s what my head said. Uncle Jack says, “Now you buy one of these and someday it’ll be worth some money someday. When the show is over people are going to want that stuff”. Really.

I’m on iTunes, so tired that I am changing names of songs to unrecognizable, ridiculous titles. Some are incomplete or messed up already, so I make them whatever I want. James Blunt’s “Beautiful” becomes “Say Anything”, which is actually the name of a band that I have a song from on there, “Baby, I’m A Blur”, which was featured in Breaking Bad.

Now I’m singing a song, one that I wrote called “Still A Chance For Me”, until people show up. I get discouraged and sing quieter and then stop completely.

A brief moment in an arcade room. Zeke, a tall, lanky, idiotic kid from my past with a beak nose, is there playing a shooting game. He looks in my direction.

I see a bus full of screaming kids, going on about voting or something. Then there are some kids on a island, with the viewpoint coming in from the water near the shore (this might come from me standing in the shallow end of Portage Lake, taking video/pictures of the shoreline).

I have long golden hair and am admiring myself in the rear view mirror of my mom’s white Ford Taurus, sitting in the back seat.

Ben Linus from Lost is running in a race.

And to finally top it off, I see my deceased aunt Janet smiling – that same evil, scheming smile that told me and everyone else she could never be trusted.

Lucid Dreaming: An Experimentation

It amazes me of the sheer number of articles and blogs out there related to the study of dreams and recording them. I am happy to say I am not the only one who has become interested in this fascinating exploration activity. Until recently, I thought this was a thing that not many people paid attention to, besides doing research. It turns out that after I started to keep track of my multiple, growing night visions, a new world opened up for me, one that was full of surprises and new discoveries. The idea of lucid dreaming, being aware that you are dreaming and being able to manipulate and alter the course of the dream, is something that I recently struck upon in an article on dreamviews.com

Some of the misconceptions that people have about lucid dreaming are presented. It is not a new thing; it goes back at least a thousand years, the ancient Egyptians even experiencing it, thinking it was a special message from above. You don’t need to rely on God and the Holy Spirit to be lucid as well. Lucid dreaming isn’t really taking you into a new world, it all occurs while you are sleeping and video games are more ‘out of this world’ than your own nightly escapades. I believe I have had a few lucid dreams where I wanted to control the outcome or perhaps extend the dream so I could see what happens next instead of it having a loose end. There was a time when I very interested in the scene going on and the only way for it to continue was for me to take control and add my own spin to the events. There are limitations to this of course. I can only alter what is available and I cannot add anything new to the environment. I can only ‘move’ the character that is essentially me (from my point of view). Now if I was very experienced with lucidity I would be able to control almost anything in the dream but basically the surrounding environment ‘springs up’ randomly wherever I go in the dream. It is nice to see the dream play out on its own, without any interference, but when I really get caught up in it, the events feel like a wild rollercoaster ride that doesn’t seem to want to stop. Sometimes I can actually feel my head and heart pounding from the exhilarating sensations happening in my subconscious. One dream, or perhaps nightmare, that I will explain in a later post, involved me running through a bunch of houses and then seeing my dad sinking into a swamp with rats crawling over him, with me walking ahead in the distance thinking he was just a burden anyway. There also were a few dreams about cancer, one where my uncle told my sister that her friend will “get cancer on your birthday” with no hesitation at all, like it was a solid fact. Another one involved me witnessing a bloody execution and then running out afraid that I was next on the chopping block. I’m not quite sure how all of these dreams come about but it seems to come from how I am thinking at the time, my emotions, and what has happened recently in my life.

If you have been following my dream blog, the dreams I recorded so far are from as far back as November 2013. I am basically going in order of dreams recorded, from the oldest to the most recent entry, fixing up things and making it look polished and complete. I hope to continue to get better at analyzing and making sense of the images and sounds I encounter. Putting all of these wonderful experiences I envision while in the dreamscape into a sort of picture storybook would be the ultimate. It does get a little boring and discouraging when I am not having any new dreams to record but I guess if I start getting quality sleep again I will get back on the amazing run of dreams that I was having in the past. And that had never happened at any time during my teenage years or early childhood. This is a phenomenon that maybe signifies that my brain has evolved or matured to be able to draw upon its own memories to create an interesting world where there are no rules or laws of physics. It is my own personal dreamland and I am free to invite anyone or anything into it, not always on my own accord.

 

#9 – Night Visions

Dream from December 18, 2013 

It is an ancient Aztec ruin situated on a tropical island somewhere deep in my mind. Poor little monkeys are being raised into the air by ropes, all huddled together, up to the tree tops…

One sly little chimp suddenly discovers a way down; he sees some stone steps appear but suddenly they aren’t there anymore. The ground is a long ways down from where the bundle of chimps are; the savage beasts scurry about like ants at the bottom…

It is I, the formidable one, caught in raging waters and being pushed around an “obstacle course” with a whirlpool like Charybdis swirling about madly. A dark and stormy night barrels on endlessly. I get swept around a rocky landmass and encounter a buoy or life preserver that is narrowly avoided. Suddenly, the ruthless waters turn into a dimly lit hallway. Andrea, a girl I knew in a past life, is near a wall with graffiti, saying something to me about joining in and continuing the graffiti masterpiece. Some light then shines from a window onto the wall, the hallway turning into the one at Woodville with lockers lining the wall. Andrea disappears. The hallway reminds me of the one in Chamber of Secrets with the blood writing on the wall that also brings up the song “Superstition”.

My night vision is in the water again, on the edge of a seaport in the daytime, staring at a warehouse with big metal doors, waiting for someone to come out…memories of hiding out in GTA from cops are being happily experimented with. Later, big bad reptilian K. Rool is standing on the seaport and orders the humans, who are in the water wearing scuba gear, to save his air supply. They dive down and find some parts on the seafloor to be put together on the main underwater apparatus, sort of like a video game challenge. The apparatus is a metal pole with a round base on the bottom and has other controls, knobs, and tubes on it. The parts are circular Lego pieces that are glowing and snap into place easily when they are correct. A couple of minutes apparently pass by and the humans dive back up, their work finished. K.Rool, as an alligator, is now in the water. He is about to dive down but hesitates since he doesn’t know if the humans fixed the parts correctly and if he will drown. A close up look at a dog tag. “That is special”, K. Rool says. Part of it breaks off, as if held just by glue. The DK villain puts it back together and looks around with sharp glances and then quietly shrugs off this minor mishap.

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Hmm…let’s see. Monkeys, water, graffiti, Legos, and a fictional reptile. Do they go together? Or is it just a bunch of random thoughts being dumped out on the floor and played with non-essentially? It seems to be another night where during the sleep away hours, my dream factory starts pulling random books off the rows and rows of memory shelves, not sure what it wants but looking for something to entertain itself before I am back up and running again and helping to add more to the amazing and versatile library upstairs.

#8 – School Days and Autumn Brakes

Dreams from December 15, 2013

These dream sequences are from sometime in late 2013, back when I started to realize that I was having crazy, vivid dreams unlike any I’ve had before…

The first sequence begins with me sitting down at a table with Jimmie Fiddler in the cafeteria at Parma Elementary. As I am hiding my head behind a lunch box, someone else sits down at the table. Jimmie was a kid I knew in the fifth grade and the last part of fourth grade. He was kind of nerdy, wore round glasses like Harry Potter, and liked to crack jokes about people, some of them dirty. He was friends with another boy named Keegan Raab, also a bit of a weirdo. Keegan’s trademark was his long brownish hair that always seemed to be perfectly straight. He also liked to play the card games Magic and Yu-Gi-Oh with more of the “nerdy crowd” in the cafeteria that included Adam Noakes, a man of short stature still to this day, who I always envisioned becoming a mystified author of sorts.

Well anyway, now I am in the Parma cafeteria hallway. I have my swimsuit under my clothes, probably going swimming later on. A teacher sees me taking my pants off in the hallway. “What are you doing?”, she asks, and then, “Oh, you’ve got swimsuit under”. I think it was my first grade teacher Mrs. Allen, the one I now suspect is gay because of her apparent manliness and non-interest in any male flirtations.

Next, I witness my uncle Jack driving a car/RV down an empty country road, mid-Autumn, leaves blowing. Jack starts complaining about the car and swerves dangerously on the road. I guess this is what I imagine it would look like if Jack ever got behind the wheel of a vehicle. It would be nuts.

#7 – A String of Loose Events

Dreams for December 10, 2013

There’s something to call the series of “flash” dreams I had recently. Loose change. Bits and pieces. Odds and ends. Quick stops at the diner for a cup of joe. They happened on several different days, not too far from each other. Some of them I understood and some were so ridiculous they made me crack up a bit…

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I am peering into a small mirror on the wall adjacent to the big mirror over the sink in the bathroom. Jack and Emily come in and start talking about something. I end up on the floor or am now way shorter than they are.

My mind’s playing tricks on me again. There is no side mirror in my bathroom. Why my uncle and sister would just nonchalantly walk into the bathroom while I am in there with the door closed is beyond me. Maybe it’s because I’ve been hanging around them a lot over the years and begun to think of them as a pair that goes anywhere together. 

 My sister Liz tying an old man’s shoe strings. I only briefly see the man’s face.

 Definitely something Liz would do, being her spontaneous nature. She does have a liking for the elderly. 

 

Lying on a bed, I hear Jack say “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah”.

A blast from the past for me as I suddenly remember the ever so cheerful crooner that would appear on the Disney Channel late at night while my sisters and I were sleeping on the floor in front of the tube. That memorable tune has been stuck in my head for years.

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Outside at night. Being chased by a madman. Looks like Groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons. He’s coming after me with a field plow. I keep looking over my shoulder. I run into a castle and the “game” shuts off, TV doing the swallow effect towards the middle of the screen.

My impression that Willie has a dark side has been confirmed.  I think me running into the castle comes from playing Donkey Kong 64.

 

Cop chasing me around a store. There are six stars in the corner of the screen. I get busted a few times, GTA style. Shots of GTA III.

From recently playing GTA III so many times my experiences of shopping at Walmart and other places have managed to blend in with my daredevil style of messing with the cops, translating to a real-life game of cat and mouse through the store.

#6 – It’s All Business

Dream from December 10, 2013

In an enormous office building. Looks like a law firm. Intimidating but elegant in appearance. The aesthetics are simplistic and natural, very twenty-first century…

Lots of staircases and floors. Tall panoramic wide glass windows letting the most sunlight in, reducing the electricity bill, and reinforcing the company’s green movement. People in suits all around. Lawyers, attorneys, bank accountants, people with egos the size of Texas. I’m in a beige suit, Hall of Fame style. Walking down a window side sets of stairs that is cutting edge with geometric features boasting that the company is fresh and innovative. Family is with me. I get a snack from a vendy with a credit card for 1 dollar. But it isn’t equipped with a credit card reader, hmmm…

I go to a rather ambitious section perhaps for a job interview but soon back out for  unknown reasons, maybe because it’s for people who are vocal and outgoing,  something I am not too good at and shy away from. The dream shifts away to me gazing into a glass look in room. There are kids playing with toys on the black threadbare carpet. I walk out the front glass doors of the building into the parking lot of the Nazarene Church in Jackson, my uncle Jack walking with me. There are many cars parked about. I arrive at the back of our car, a Ford Taurus SE. Mom tells me to take some candy, assorted taffies, she has in her hand. “Give it to the security guard or they’ll bust you”, she says, talking about my credit card. I don’t have money on it anyways.

P.S. A search for “vendy” on Google Images does not bring up vending machines but something completely different. I still think it’s a cute pet name for the machine.

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