#11 – December Ride

The following series of dreams happened during the last part of 2013, around November and December…

In a store like school that looks like my local Meijer or Walmart, I’m frantically running through a deli section. I try to skip lunch and see a few teachers that do not notice me…

In a huge dining hall with big, tall windows, I see a table with Kim Kardashian and someone she is dating – Kanye West perhaps – seated there. My unpredictable dream self sits down at that table but quickly moves somewhere else because he feels uneasy about sitting with celebrities. So dreamscaper Matt sits down at another table with some stupid, irrelevant person who is probably someone he knows but can’t figure out. Red carpet covers the whole of this room, lots of natural sunlight shining through the magnificent, black framed windows as tall as a cathedral. In only a couple of seconds this is gone.

Next, I find myself at Western High School, walking down the senior hallway and around the corner leading to the cafeteria. The corners of my vision see the lockers by the cafeteria, before it was remodeled into the state-of-the-art state it is now (everything always gets better after I leave). As I am walking around the corner, I have thoughts of West Middle School in Ypsilanti on my mind, reliving the bad days, memories of when I was a 12/13 year old, kids laughing, poking fun at my looks and apparent disabilities. I’m all alone, walking a lonely path, which is a comfort to me since I can bask in my thoughts. The dream fizzles out.

A few days later comes a story about a boy named Matt or Dave. He is sitting in an assembly chair on stage in the front row of the auditorium at Western High. But then the dream quickly shifts to my old room at Erie Road in Parma (another reference to an early childhood home that seems to be very special to me). A piece of a rubber tire from a white van sitting in the adjacent driveway gets stuck in the bedroom window frame, somehow still connected to the vehicle in an impossible way. Mischievous Matt pulls on the rubber tread, stretching it, and causes the wheel to fall off the van outside on the driveway. “It’s junk anyways”, Matt says, seeing the van now lying crooked on three wheels. The owners come by and look at their wrecked vehicle. Matt’s friends come into his room and look through the window. Matt closes the blinds just a peek. “Shhh”, he says with a finger to his lips, wanting to be as quiet and unassuming as possible about this.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I am walking down the high school hallway again, being the popular kid, with everyone gasping and eyeing me like I’m a famous celebrity, especially girls. This is the polar opposite of how I was feeling a while back – depressed and lonely. Kind of like the end of Titanic, where everyone is clapping uproariously at Jack and Rose as they kiss at the top of the staircase and the camera pans up to the iconic glass ceiling before fading out – moments before they had been involved in an epic tragedy and now are experiencing an uplifting, but cliché, ending. Through thick and thin we’ve fought and now the light at the end of the tunnel has finally been reached. That’s how my dream translates to real life.

My December ride crashes in on an evil empire springing up on a desert like planet, much like Tatooine in Star Wars. A little guy flies by to his own planet and sees the big bad empire nearby. “Some evil empire I have”, he says, as the bigger one dwarfs his. The little guy is one of the minions from Despicable Me.

Another shift to the real world has me in an aisle at the store looking for Spongebob Squarepants stuffed toys. There are many varieties and assortments, such as ones with big vampire teeth. I buy one that is a little bigger than the one I already have – 38 x 23 inches, which is pretty big but that’s what my head said. Uncle Jack says, “Now you buy one of these and someday it’ll be worth some money someday. When the show is over people are going to want that stuff”. Really.

I’m on iTunes, so tired that I am changing names of songs to unrecognizable, ridiculous titles. Some are incomplete or messed up already, so I make them whatever I want. James Blunt’s “Beautiful” becomes “Say Anything”, which is actually the name of a band that I have a song from on there, “Baby, I’m A Blur”, which was featured in Breaking Bad.

Now I’m singing a song, one that I wrote called “Still A Chance For Me”, until people show up. I get discouraged and sing quieter and then stop completely.

A brief moment in an arcade room. Zeke, a tall, lanky, idiotic kid from my past with a beak nose, is there playing a shooting game. He looks in my direction.

I see a bus full of screaming kids, going on about voting or something. Then there are some kids on a island, with the viewpoint coming in from the water near the shore (this might come from me standing in the shallow end of Portage Lake, taking video/pictures of the shoreline).

I have long golden hair and am admiring myself in the rear view mirror of my mom’s white Ford Taurus, sitting in the back seat.

Ben Linus from Lost is running in a race.

And to finally top it off, I see my deceased aunt Janet smiling – that same evil, scheming smile that told me and everyone else she could never be trusted.

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#10 – A Rush of Euphoria

Dream from December 20, 2013

What seemed like a wild mine cart ride through an underground cavern or tunnel ends at a station besides a rocky subterranean wall. I am apparently going on a trip with some “monsters”, stuffed animals that were telepathically speaking to me…

There is a scruffy looking ticket guy in a red shirt standing next to the tracks. I show the guy a name tag with “Jill Hammell” on it (my mom’s CENA tag at Heartland Healthcare). After he looks at it with concern, I say it is in a different language. Then I am stuffing the monsters more tightly into the small shopping cart I arrived in or on, with various signs, such as “Going to Spartyville” and “Monsters”, being slapped on the sides. Onward!

In no time at all, I arrive in a big outdoor park/arena surrounded by rock walls and various openings. Waterfalls, streams, lakes, rocks, and lots of green plant life are some of the features around here. I walk through a large opening where there is a small plateau or cliff overlooking a wide open dirt land or desert; there are no signs of life for miles and a scene from Attack of the Clones comes to mind. The sky is a clear blue, with relatively few clouds. Parked out on this balcony of nature are some cars – some junky and some that a millionaire might drive. As this sequence continues, the barren wasteland becomes less visible and the focus is more prominently on the cars that are facing me, headlights first. I try to take pictures with a wimpy flip phone but the image keeps on ending somewhere else, with me standing in front of the scene.

From a twisted, dark corner in my mind: “Taylor will get cancer on your birthday”, Jack says to my sister Emily, talking about her beloved friend. He says it with no hesitation, in a matter-of-fact way. Cold and unemotional. Well, then…

I am in the cold section of Walmart, picking out Seagrams from a box. There are many flavors I have never seen, making it hard to decide. I skip over the Tangerine flavored one I have already tried. Alicia, Taylor, and Emily are with me.

Mom and dad are on the couch at the Erie Rd. house at night watching The Simpsons, laughing together. Homer Simpson is dressed like a woman. He pulls off a wig and white cloth wrapped around him like a toga. The fake “boobs” that he is wearing, stuck on with toothpicks and similar in look to olives, are plucked off, one by one. He then pulls off a lower set just below the original ones, throwing them into the campfire. The flames fly up. Whoosh!

The dreams continue with me talking to Hannah Kulwicki, a short girl from the Career Center, on Facebook about Harry Potter, with questions about how HP7, The Deathly Hallows, is different from the other books. It becomes a contribute chat from other people. The answer is that HP7 is set outside most of the time than the other books. I even see the promotional logo that was used in various trailers and posters for the upcoming two part finale of the film franchise.

A rush of euphoria sees a version of me skateboarding down a paved street at night, with a castle growing smaller behind me. I am trying to catch different people on skateboards. “But you can’t catch them”, someone says. Then I’m walking down the street with random strangers. I head off to bed and “Leave the Pieces” by The Wreckers starts to play in my head, with images of mom and family bouncing around in my mind.

Last, but not least, I am in a car with some relatives being driven around our Windham Hills mobile home park looking for a New Hampshire Drive. Some stranger is driving us – I cannot see the person’s face, only an ominous silhouette of their self that speaks DANGER! and that he or she is probably a rabid serial killer. Oh well. I accepted the candy offer and now I will await my doom. We finally find the destination, me seeing the green street sign (in reality there is no New Hampshire Dr. in Windham Hills, another weird trick my dream state likes to play on me).

endofsequence

A summary of my adventures so far:

Dream 1, “An Elevator of Dreams”, involved Jimmy Kimmel, The Price is Right, a chilly room, a guy getting kicked out, an elevator, forgotten keys, and a wild college party

Dream 2, “Boy Genius”, included Jimmy Neutron, a skyscraper, Mars, and some kids in suits

Dream 3, “Sky Blue”, had a blue van and a girl who has an awesome superhero name

Dream 4, “A Cancerous Dream”, is pretty self explanatory

Dream 5, “Denial”, had me by the side of the road watching a tank flip over

Dream 6, “It’s All Business”, was set at a business with a magical snack machine

Dream 7, “A String of Events”, had Groundskeeper Willy chasing me

Dream 8, “School Days and Autumn Brakes”, involved a lunch box, swimsuit, and crazy uncle driving a car

Dream 9, “Night Visions”, featured monkeys, an obstacle course, graffiti, Legos, and a fictional reptile

Dream 10, “A Rush of Euphoria”, had stuffed toys, a massive arena, cars, cold-hearted truth, carbonated drinks, Homer Simpson, skateboards, a non-existent street, Harry Potter, and an elephant in the room.

Lucid Dreaming: An Experimentation

It amazes me of the sheer number of articles and blogs out there related to the study of dreams and recording them. I am happy to say I am not the only one who has become interested in this fascinating exploration activity. Until recently, I thought this was a thing that not many people paid attention to, besides doing research. It turns out that after I started to keep track of my multiple, growing night visions, a new world opened up for me, one that was full of surprises and new discoveries. The idea of lucid dreaming, being aware that you are dreaming and being able to manipulate and alter the course of the dream, is something that I recently struck upon in an article on dreamviews.com

Some of the misconceptions that people have about lucid dreaming are presented. It is not a new thing; it goes back at least a thousand years, the ancient Egyptians even experiencing it, thinking it was a special message from above. You don’t need to rely on God and the Holy Spirit to be lucid as well. Lucid dreaming isn’t really taking you into a new world, it all occurs while you are sleeping and video games are more ‘out of this world’ than your own nightly escapades. I believe I have had a few lucid dreams where I wanted to control the outcome or perhaps extend the dream so I could see what happens next instead of it having a loose end. There was a time when I very interested in the scene going on and the only way for it to continue was for me to take control and add my own spin to the events. There are limitations to this of course. I can only alter what is available and I cannot add anything new to the environment. I can only ‘move’ the character that is essentially me (from my point of view). Now if I was very experienced with lucidity I would be able to control almost anything in the dream but basically the surrounding environment ‘springs up’ randomly wherever I go in the dream. It is nice to see the dream play out on its own, without any interference, but when I really get caught up in it, the events feel like a wild rollercoaster ride that doesn’t seem to want to stop. Sometimes I can actually feel my head and heart pounding from the exhilarating sensations happening in my subconscious. One dream, or perhaps nightmare, that I will explain in a later post, involved me running through a bunch of houses and then seeing my dad sinking into a swamp with rats crawling over him, with me walking ahead in the distance thinking he was just a burden anyway. There also were a few dreams about cancer, one where my uncle told my sister that her friend will “get cancer on your birthday” with no hesitation at all, like it was a solid fact. Another one involved me witnessing a bloody execution and then running out afraid that I was next on the chopping block. I’m not quite sure how all of these dreams come about but it seems to come from how I am thinking at the time, my emotions, and what has happened recently in my life.

If you have been following my dream blog, the dreams I recorded so far are from as far back as November 2013. I am basically going in order of dreams recorded, from the oldest to the most recent entry, fixing up things and making it look polished and complete. I hope to continue to get better at analyzing and making sense of the images and sounds I encounter. Putting all of these wonderful experiences I envision while in the dreamscape into a sort of picture storybook would be the ultimate. It does get a little boring and discouraging when I am not having any new dreams to record but I guess if I start getting quality sleep again I will get back on the amazing run of dreams that I was having in the past. And that had never happened at any time during my teenage years or early childhood. This is a phenomenon that maybe signifies that my brain has evolved or matured to be able to draw upon its own memories to create an interesting world where there are no rules or laws of physics. It is my own personal dreamland and I am free to invite anyone or anything into it, not always on my own accord.