#11 – December Ride

The following series of dreams happened during the last part of 2013, around November and December…

In a store like school that looks like my local Meijer or Walmart, I’m frantically running through a deli section. I try to skip lunch and see a few teachers that do not notice me…

In a huge dining hall with big, tall windows, I see a table with Kim Kardashian and someone she is dating – Kanye West perhaps – seated there. My unpredictable dream self sits down at that table but quickly moves somewhere else because he feels uneasy about sitting with celebrities. So dreamscaper Matt sits down at another table with some stupid, irrelevant person who is probably someone he knows but can’t figure out. Red carpet covers the whole of this room, lots of natural sunlight shining through the magnificent, black framed windows as tall as a cathedral. In only a couple of seconds this is gone.

Next, I find myself at Western High School, walking down the senior hallway and around the corner leading to the cafeteria. The corners of my vision see the lockers by the cafeteria, before it was remodeled into the state-of-the-art state it is now (everything always gets better after I leave). As I am walking around the corner, I have thoughts of West Middle School in Ypsilanti on my mind, reliving the bad days, memories of when I was a 12/13 year old, kids laughing, poking fun at my looks and apparent disabilities. I’m all alone, walking a lonely path, which is a comfort to me since I can bask in my thoughts. The dream fizzles out.

A few days later comes a story about a boy named Matt or Dave. He is sitting in an assembly chair on stage in the front row of the auditorium at Western High. But then the dream quickly shifts to my old room at Erie Road in Parma (another reference to an early childhood home that seems to be very special to me). A piece of a rubber tire from a white van sitting in the adjacent driveway gets stuck in the bedroom window frame, somehow still connected to the vehicle in an impossible way. Mischievous Matt pulls on the rubber tread, stretching it, and causes the wheel to fall off the van outside on the driveway. “It’s junk anyways”, Matt says, seeing the van now lying crooked on three wheels. The owners come by and look at their wrecked vehicle. Matt’s friends come into his room and look through the window. Matt closes the blinds just a peek. “Shhh”, he says with a finger to his lips, wanting to be as quiet and unassuming as possible about this.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I am walking down the high school hallway again, being the popular kid, with everyone gasping and eyeing me like I’m a famous celebrity, especially girls. This is the polar opposite of how I was feeling a while back – depressed and lonely. Kind of like the end of Titanic, where everyone is clapping uproariously at Jack and Rose as they kiss at the top of the staircase and the camera pans up to the iconic glass ceiling before fading out – moments before they had been involved in an epic tragedy and now are experiencing an uplifting, but cliché, ending. Through thick and thin we’ve fought and now the light at the end of the tunnel has finally been reached. That’s how my dream translates to real life.

My December ride crashes in on an evil empire springing up on a desert like planet, much like Tatooine in Star Wars. A little guy flies by to his own planet and sees the big bad empire nearby. “Some evil empire I have”, he says, as the bigger one dwarfs his. The little guy is one of the minions from Despicable Me.

Another shift to the real world has me in an aisle at the store looking for Spongebob Squarepants stuffed toys. There are many varieties and assortments, such as ones with big vampire teeth. I buy one that is a little bigger than the one I already have – 38 x 23 inches, which is pretty big but that’s what my head said. Uncle Jack says, “Now you buy one of these and someday it’ll be worth some money someday. When the show is over people are going to want that stuff”. Really.

I’m on iTunes, so tired that I am changing names of songs to unrecognizable, ridiculous titles. Some are incomplete or messed up already, so I make them whatever I want. James Blunt’s “Beautiful” becomes “Say Anything”, which is actually the name of a band that I have a song from on there, “Baby, I’m A Blur”, which was featured in Breaking Bad.

Now I’m singing a song, one that I wrote called “Still A Chance For Me”, until people show up. I get discouraged and sing quieter and then stop completely.

A brief moment in an arcade room. Zeke, a tall, lanky, idiotic kid from my past with a beak nose, is there playing a shooting game. He looks in my direction.

I see a bus full of screaming kids, going on about voting or something. Then there are some kids on a island, with the viewpoint coming in from the water near the shore (this might come from me standing in the shallow end of Portage Lake, taking video/pictures of the shoreline).

I have long golden hair and am admiring myself in the rear view mirror of my mom’s white Ford Taurus, sitting in the back seat.

Ben Linus from Lost is running in a race.

And to finally top it off, I see my deceased aunt Janet smiling – that same evil, scheming smile that told me and everyone else she could never be trusted.

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#5 – Denial

Dream from December 5, 2013

A short dream burst tonight…

Suddenly I am standing by the street near my old house on Erie Road, waiting for something. A lush row of trees surround both sides of the blacktop entrance. A woody forest of underbrush lines the opposite side of the street. My cozy little mobile home tucked into the somberness of the countryside, civilization a couple miles away beyond the railroad tracks. Something keeps on passing by. A bus? Car? Person? Tank?? Did it tip over? Whatever it is seems to want me to come along but I keep refusing, just standing there like a house on the side of the road.

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Ah, the cherished moments of that house, how I wish they could be relived. The crispness of the fresh cut grass and the sweet sounds of nature being heard with the intense city far away in the distance. It was a different life for me then, one that was much simpler and carefree. Responsibility was as foreign to me as the land of China.

#3 – Sky Blue

Dream from November 27, 2013

A cool sunny day in the quiet, peaceful town of Spring Arbor. Where college students dream, new babies scream, and the elderly sit on their front porches, reminiscing about the golden years. Nothing too dramatic happens around here. Mostly homespun events like the Memorial Day parade and the Hanging of the Greens at Christmas. Crime is always trying to sneak it’s way in but the proud law enforcement acts quickly to snuff it out. Within this town are a handful of good souls tending to work or whatever drives their heart’s content…

Into the dreamscape I am dropped. No directions. No explanation. It’s just me living in a virtual world made up entirely of my thoughts. My mind is the stage and I am the performer who needs no script.

There I am riding my red bike down Baker Street towards my house that is nestled nicely at the end. A long, worn out path of cement and potholes with tree limbs full of green stretching out over the entrance. A couple of modest looking houses line either side of the street and there generally is not much activity from the inhabitants here. A nice gentle breeze gathers around me as I ride past my neighbor’s house shaded comfortably by a large oak and see my empty black driveway. My house is big with two floors and a basement. The exterior is made up of grey side paneling. A hastily built in porch with recycled floorboards and a makeshift set of wood steps with the white paint washing away overlooks our shabby grass square with a tall tree in one corner and a small pile of rocks in the other. I stop suddenly when I see dad’s blue minivan parked in the street on the side of the yard. Sky Keyser is in the passenger seat, dad in the driver seat. Sky is smiling at me. A nice warm, affectionate smile. How great it is to see her face, so full of life and beauty with that small nose piercing on the side that I adore. I am surprised to see her here and wonder if she has answered my call and really does want to be with me. Maybe we can finally escape and live happy together. But it all ends too soon as I am pulled out of the realm of this world and faced with the fact that it was all a dream and I will never get to fulfill my love for Sky, the only girl I ever had a special karaoke song for.

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1. Obviously Spring Arbor was a town I grew up in for about 5 years. I used to ride my bike all around the city, learning the ins and out and places of interest.

2. Dad’s has had that minivan for about 14 years now. I guess it is a special part of his life. Lots of memories can be recalled. All the vacation trips taken, school events attended, open houses dived in upon. It even suffered through two divorces. I have basically grown up in that van. Now I am twenty-two and it stills feels like yesterday that my grandparents bought a flashy new ride for the family as a housewarming gift.

3. Sky was a girl that caught my eye way back in eleventh grade. It was more of an unrequited love and then my heart was dreadfully broken when I found out she had someone else, even though she egged me on for about a week. So foolish I was as a teenager. But the curiosity of things could not be suppressed. I finally realize my mistakes now and will never be led into those kind of traps again.

#1 – An Elevator of Dreams

Dream from November 16, 2013

The eyes of my subconscious settle in at the front of a large classroom with a laughing Jimmy Kimmel standing next to a TV on a tall black cart. Though none of the class is actually seen, we are all about to watch The Price is Right

But then the lights are off, the only light coming from the shaded windows running the length of the wall opposite the door, and I am at the back of the room, all alone, staring into the distance. A whiteboard is on the far wall in front of me. The room has a bluish tint to it and my gaze is becoming blurry, the room tilting to the right. There are long, rectangular tables in the room and later on there are not. My mind shifts to a guy getting chewed out by his wife for buying expensive things. This is happening at the front of the room; I am there observing the commotion, unbeknownst to them. He leaves through a door of white light at the far left end of the window wall, packing his possessions and others things into a small box. Then he is on the front steps of my old house on Erie Road. Or perhaps it’s me in this case. A storm rages on. The sky is dark and cloudy, rain pouring down in buckets, lightning and thunder trading punches. I think the man slips and falls on the black paved sidewalk, the contents from the box going everywhere. His life is in shambles.

I am now in a small clearing with an elevator. There are yellow and black caution stripes on the doors and a solid curved awning above it. I look back and see a large room with a white tiled floor; the lights are partially dimmed. There are some people debating and disagreeing with each other, maybe about going into the elevator. After getting the okay to do so, I walk into the elevator…

After the jump I see myself walking down a linoleum hallway with windows and a heating unit running the length of it. Outside the window a building is being constructed, starting with the metal struts. I enter another room on the right with tables shaped in a square or rectangle. There are a few people sitting down in chairs at the tables; I see the back of an elderly man’s head with a bald spot. I go back into the hallway and see a stout 40 something year old woman and ask her if I can go back to the floor we came from to get my keys I forgot. She says “we’ll all go back together”. I go back into the room and sit down, wondering if I should just go back myself.

We all leave, or rather jump from, this room and end up on the outside of another room that has look in windows, black framed, possibly two-way. The windows meet at a corner. It is dark in the space outside. Lights are dimmed in the room. Party going on, college kids, jumping on furniture, two men sitting on a couch in front of a fireplace chatting with each other , possibly gay. Party ends, kids leave through a black-framed glass door, laughing, joking. We go in and get to work cleaning the dorm. Feeling annoyed and angered, I grab a mop and start wetting down the floor near the entrance.

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1. The large classroom is Room 101 at Baker College. I had a Human Resources class in there my first 10 ten weeks at the college. I seemed to like that classroom. So spacious, warm, inviting. Always so cheerful in there with the students and teachers. I remember drinking a hot cappuccino on a sunny day in that room, the two warmths combining, uplifting my spirits.

2. I am standing at the end of the room with the lights off because I am now experiencing a somber, depressed moment in my life and I also enjoy the solitude. It calms me, makes me think easier, I can get away from the world and escape to a special place in my head. The tables disappearing could symbolize something or someone disappearing in my life, maybe my grandma who passed away whose final moments with me were sad and bitter; she didn’t know who she was anymore, her actions weren’t hers.

3. The gloomy moment transcends to the guy and his wife yelling at him. This might stem from me seeing my mom yell at my dad for doing certain things and the divorce that followed, which bothered me a bit. I’ve also watched multiple shows where a wife gets mad at her husband and tells him to leave. He leaves through a door of white light, maybe symbolizing good things to come in his and my future, and ends up on the front steps of my old house on Erie Road. That house holds a special place in my heart even though there were some bad memories there. The thunderstorm symbolizes sadness, depression, sorrow, and anger. On the flip side, I’ve always enjoyed thunderstorms. The box the man puts his stuff in is just like the one sitting on the shelf in my closet. I value that box and don’t want to get rid of it…yet. The man slips and falls to add to the terrible moment and there were times in life when I fell down hard, both literally and figuratively.

4. The elevator might have something to do with tough decisions I once had to make, right on the spot. The disagreeing and debating people are actually the decision making process going on in my head. The yellow and black stripes symbolize me looking at the situation carefully, not diving in until I know exactly what’s in it for me. It’s me who decides to go into the elevator because I deem it “safe”, like me deciding to go through a door in a video game, wondering if there is something dangerous on the other side.

5. The linoleum hallway and business class are from Jackson Community College, where I went to briefly from 2010 – 2011.

6. The “forgot my keys” moment must stem from me being forgetful at times. I’ve lost many things in my life but eventually they showed up again.

7. The room with the look in windows relates to me going to the plasma center many times and seeing those same black-framed windows and door.